Oxygen is for losers.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

You left such a legacy.  Your quiet strength and quirky humor live on in the hearts and minds of your children.

You would be 56 this week. My heart cracks with grief, then mends itself in the knowledge that you are in a much better place. I choke back tears, knowing that I must be strong for my family, my children, and mostly for my firstborn child, whose birthday is only days after yours. He deserves a happy birthday.

My children need me to be strong. Their father’s new work schedule is hard on us all, often taking him away from us just when we need him most – when I need him most. They need someone they can talk to. Someone who will tell the stories of Grampa as only his child could. They also need someone who is solid. Someone who will always be there for them no matter what. That someone is me, because I am the Mother, and because there is no one else.

My tears frighten them. They wonder if is Mommy is ok. So I choke back the wails that threaten to pour forth from the very depths of my soul. I blink back my sorrow while I pour my heart into my keyboard, and pray to make it through another day.

Make it through I will.  Afterall, I am my father’s daughter.

2 thoughts on “Oxygen is for losers.

  1. You dad sounds like he was a very strong person. Hang in there, I lost my dad when i was 7 and im 18 and away at college and it is a lot harder now. I get scared of growin up and having a wedding with out him and having to have my kids call my step dad grandpa. Because my dad would have made a perfect grandpa. Knowing that you make it through with kids and a husband gives me a lot of hope. God bless Colleen

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Kat's Arbitrary Thought Processes