When did this happen?

There I am sitting on the pew in the back of the church with my baby, and suddenly he’s too loud, too playful, and too big to stay in service with me! He’s started to fuss because he doesn’t want to be quiet. He’s gotten big enough to be a distraction to the people around us, and disrupt the service.

I wasn’t ready for this. Mother’s Day brings up so many other emotions (see last entry), and now, my last baby is officially too big to keep in service with me. When did this happen? When did he grow up? I haven’t been apart from him for more than an hour since he left the NICU, and then the only other person he stays with is Daddy. I haven’t even left him with Gramma and Grampa yet, let alone a babysitter. And now I’ve got to hand him over to semi-strangers?!? I just wasn’t ready for swell of emotions that left me crying my eyes out and unable to pay attention to the pastor this morning.

I feel so proud. He’s grown into such a big boy from that little tiny thing we brought home. But there is also sadness. He’s growing way too fast! I’m not ready for this! He’s my last baby (definitely, I had my tubes tied when he was born). I need him to stay little just a little longer! I guess you could say I suffered my first attack of separation anxiety. I definitely think it was much harder on mom than it was on baby.

I just can’t believe he’s gotten so big already. Who gave him permission to grow up? When did this happen?

1 thought on “When did this happen?

  1. My son, Matthew is 3. I think that thought everyday as you mentioned. When did this happen? I do not want my boys to be the stereotypical “mamma’s boys” but I just cant help it. Having boys is hard on me. I have a girl but I do not get to raise her. She is already with the Lord. I think I baby my boys some and it is because I know that before I know it they will not want Mommy anymore. Not like the mother-daughter relationship I long for. I put Matthew in his Sunday School class when he was about 7 or 8 months as well. I wanted him in there with me but he wanted to keep getting down-as he had just learned to crawl. I guess I had to know that even though he was with “strangers” he would be learning about God in a way that he could understand. Now that he is 3 he loves going to his class. I hope that you find some comfort in knowing that others feel the way you do.

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Kat's Arbitrary Thought Processes