Last Monday night (3/14), I watched Nanny911 on fox… mostly because watching the show makes me appreciate how well behaved my kids truly are… but I saw a few things that really hit home with me…
“If you implement rules and order, the CHAOS will disappear and you will have more time…” Nanny Deb (My FLYing friends ought to get a kick out of this one! FLYlady has been teaching me this for years with my routines and shiny sink…)
Communication is the key… set up rules of the house, and be consistent! — the biggest thing I saw here was that mom and dad needed to communicate better, and not talk down to each other….
I have been soooo sick and tired of the constant screaming around here. I always told myself growing up I would not yell constantly like my mom did. And a few weeks ago I was writing about being an angry mom, and how I want to change that… So I tried an experiment last week. I sat down with DH and decided on a set of rules, sort of like the ones Nanny Deb set. No whining, No screaming, No hitting, obey mom and dad. Importantly, we also set up punishments for breaking each rule. Then instead of just yelling at the kids to stop screaming, I got in there and explained to both of them how to use words to say what they want.
I gotta tell you, it’s working. The kids are happier, momma is happier. There is still some screaming, but it’s easier to stop the screaming now just by gently reminding the screamer to use his/her words. I’ve also made a real effort to get off the computer when the kids wake up. It’s helping a great deal… I do still catch myself ready to blow occasionally. But now that I can recognize the feelings, it’s easier to get control of it.
We’re still not perfect…. But at least my voice doesn’t hurt at the end of the day anymore. *S* even dd2’s tempers in the bad chair are getting shorter since she’s learning that she has to wait til the timer beeps (I set it for 1 minute for dd2, 2 for ds4)
I think a lot of this is stemming from the realization that has sunk in that they are only this young once, and there will not be another child in the house. I’m not regretting my tubal…. But I’ve realized that this is it! If I miss it now, I’ll never have another chance to live these moments, and enjoy the kids… you know what I mean?? Almost daily, the thought hits me that they will only be this age once. That poem, Babies don’t keep, jumps into my mind abt once a week.. I really have to scrap it or something….
Just figured I’d share our progress…