There is a Mark Lowry joke that says something like his dad was always quiet, but his mom was a screamer! and the kids (his brother and him) had figured out how to ignore her until she hit that pitch, you know, the one that sends garage doors all over the nieghborhood flying up! I always laughed at that joke because it was so true in my own childhood. My mom was a screamer. and somehow, we could always tell where the line was, and when we had crossed it! I always swore I wouldn’t scream at my kids like that. A few night ago though, I had a real eye-opening conversation with my dh.
I scream and yell way too much. Nanny911 last night had the Priore family… a family with a a problem with yelling. Nanny Stella (i love her btw!) had a talk with the father to try to get him to see how his yelling affected the whole family. I can see how my screaming does. But the deeper question is what causes the screaming the first place. If we can find the root, maybe we can finally pull this weed once and for all.
Well…. it normally starts with mom on the computer, or in a different room from the kids…. they start fighting and yelling, which annoys mom who starts yelling for them to knock it off before she’s even gotten into the room, and the day spirals downward from there… when dad comes home to house of yelling, his head starts hurting, which makes him yell.. which makes the kids yell, on and on….
What it boils down to is me. The kids are going to fight, whether I’m in the room or not. I need to control my own reactions.
**I started writing this two days ago. I am happy to report that after talking with my kids, my house has been better. we shall see if it lasts.
Good for you for thinking this through and examining your actions. I can really relate to this. I know for me, if I am feeling bad or stressed, I catch myself yelling. (sigh) Not proud of that. I need to utilize that patience that only come from God to stop it. Thanks for sharing this.