I got a newsletter from babycenter.com today… reminding me that my baby’s first birthday will be here in just a few short months. It’s hard to believe that this time last year I was pregnant with him….. and now here he is, laying on the floor behind me, holding his own bottle, feeding himself breakfast. He is growing so fast. It feels like only yesterday he was tiny little thing in the NICU. He will be 8 months old in five days.
I look at him and feel… I guess bittersweet…? I mean, there is such a finality to each little milestone he reaches. I definitely do not regret my tubal. Good Lord above knows pregancy is so hard on my whole family… there is no way we can do that again! But as I watch my baby grow… there is a feeling of sadness mixed with joy as we celebrate every milestone. Not sad like boo hoo, woe is me… not even sad like boo hoo I wish we could have more babies… Truthfully three is enough! The day they figure out they outnumber us I’m in trouble! *S* But a feeling of finality. This is the last time I will be watching my baby sleep in a crib… the last time I get to see the wonder on his face as he learns new things… the last time…. etc.
Don’t get me wrong. I fully plan on being around and watching my grandkids go through all these milestones… but considering my oldest is only 4 years old, grandkids better be a long, long way off! *S*