Emotionally, I feel like I\u2019m halfway up a muddy hill. At the top of this hill is a beautiful grassy plateau where everyone I know is laughing and dancing in the sunshine, having a great time. Below me at the bottom is a pile of jagged rocks with thorn bushes and poison ivy. I\u2019m desperately slogging through the muck that is already ankle deep, covered in mud and filth trying to find a way up through the mire\u2026 and someone has turned a fire hose on me\u2026. This hill is so slick, I can\u2019t find anything to hold on to, I can\u2019t keep myself from slipping further down the hill edging closer to those thorns and jagged rocks just wait to cut me open\u2026<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not giving up\u2026 I\u2019m fighting the muck and the mire\u2026 I don\u2019t want to hit those rocks at the bottom. I\u2019ve been there before, and I know it hurts way too much\u2026 But for every inch I gain, I slip back two.<\/p>\n
This song by Sanctus Real is like a God-smack upside my head right now\u2026<\/p>\n
[youtube]http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fki04dpFD-0[\/youtube]<\/p>\n
_________________<\/p>\n
Sanctus Real<\/p>\n
“I’m Not Alright”<\/p>\n
If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
\nThen “cool” is just how far we have to fall
\nI am not immune, I only want to be loved
\nBut I feel safe behind the firewall<\/p>\n
Can I lose my need impress?
\nIf you want the truth I need to confess<\/p>\n
[Chorus:]
\nI’m not alright, I’m broken inside
\nAnd all I go through, it leads me to you<\/p>\n
Burn away the pride
\nBring me to my weakness
\nUntil everything I hide behind is gone
\nAnd when I’m open wide with nothing left to cling to
\nOnly you are there to lead me on.<\/p>\n
Honestly, I’m not that strong.<\/p>\n
[Chorus:]<\/p>\n
I’m not alright… that’s why I need you.<\/p>\n
_________________<\/p>\n