Zoolander was a better movie then Wanted.\u00a0 If you haven’t seen the film yet and want to, lower your expectations for the movie dramatically and stop reading.\u00a0 Spoilers will follow. You have been warned.<\/p>\n
For those who want to know,<\/p>\n
The previews for Wanted made it look like an awesome action flick.\u00a0 Then, when it hit theaters, friends & relations gushed about how awesome it was. When it hit Netflix, it’s been on a “long wait” status forever.\u00a0 Clearly ALOT of people wanted to see it.<\/p>\n
I was expecting an action flick.<\/p>\n
I got a 90 minutes of nonsense wrapped around about 10 minutes of a decent fight scene.\u00a0 At least with Zoolander, you went into the flick expecting something stupid funny, and you got it.<\/p>\n
The whole curving the bullet thing was absolutely stupid. But ok, I’ll give you that one.<\/p>\n
The jumping the car over to shoot through the sunroof.\u00a0 Yea. Right.<\/p>\n
But the one thing that really just pushed this flick over the edge into absolute stupidity:\u00a0 the Loom of Fate.\u00a0\u00a0 That’s right, this ultra-cool super-awesome group of assassins known as the Fraternity takes it’s orders from a piece of linen.\u00a0 Supposedly there is some sort of code in the Looms missed stitches, though only head guy Sloan is allowed to read it.<\/p>\n
Ooo…\u00a0 I’m such a badass, I take my orders from a bedsheet. Puh-leeze.<\/p>\n
Oh! and the twist!\u00a0 Let’s not forget the twist to this movie.\u00a0 Seems Sloan has been lying to the Fraternity.\u00a0 Wesley was recruited to kill Cross, the man who he was told had killed his father.\u00a0 But, it turns out that Cross was Wesley’s father, & Cross found out that Sloan’s name had come up on the Loom of Doom.\u00a0 Sloan’s response to this revelation, “Yes, it did, but so did yours, & yours, & yours.” He says while handing pieces of papers with each team member’s name on it.\u00a0 Pieces of paper that Sloan wrote up.\u00a0 Why do any of them believe him?<\/p>\n
Oh and to Fox, Angelina’s character – two words.\u00a0 Duck woman!!!\u00a0 See, Sloan gives the Fraternity a choice. Kill themselves as those papers he wrote up say they should, or kill Wesley. Just as the other are set to open fire on Wesley, Fox curves a bullet.\u00a0 I swear this is the “magic bullet” from the Kennedy assassination because it flies in a complete circle though the temples of every member of the Fraternity, despite the fact that they are all different heights.\u00a0 And It doesn’t even slow down, until it comes to a stop in Fox’s own head. Yup. she killed herself after throwing the gun to Wesley so he could take out Sloan.\u00a0 Ugh.<\/p>\n
Seriously, I honestly believe the only reason this movie did as well as it did was because of the one scene where you get to see Angelina’s butt.\u00a0 Ugh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Zoolander was a better movie then Wanted.\u00a0 If you haven’t seen the film yet and want to, lower your expectations for the movie dramatically and stop reading.\u00a0 Spoilers will follow. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-randomness"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yuriar.com\/katp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}